.in retrospect.

Yesss! Christmas na. Or Christmas vacation, at least. Finally, almost 2 weeks akong PGH-free! Wahooooo!

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I am vaguely aware na hindi ko pa tapos un previous entry ko... but oh well. Inaayos ko pa sa isip ko 'yung kadugsong.

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Inspired by last week's faith group fellowship, I want to write down what 2007 meant to me:
2007 - Expanding My Territory

CAREER-WISE:
1. I realized that I wanted to serve the Filipinos IN THE PHILIPPINES.
2. I got to go to Palawan and see how the health care system works from a different perspective. I met different people with different opinions and different methods, but somehow with the same heart for the country.
3. I got to know Dr. Portia Marcelo up close. And talk to her one-on-one pa at that! Heehee. Plus I also met and interacted with more community-oriented physicians to look up to. Like Dr. Anthony Cordero, Dr. Jimmy Galvez-Tan, Dr. Delen Dela Paz (my mentor, I've known her for quite a while now), Dr. Bebol Paterno, and more. (Thanks GHC!)
4. I began my clerkship in PGH and started to, one by one, rule in and rule out various specializations. That is, kung mag-specialize nga ako!
5. I learned how to deal with patients.
6. I learned how to deal with bantays.
7. I learned how to deal with residents.
8. I learned how to deal with my colleagues (interns and clerks).
9. I learned how to deal with nurses, paramedics, and other people that make PGH work. That includes the guards, the manongs, the ates, and everyone else I encounter as I spend most of my waking hours there.
10. I've finally come to terms with the fact na MAGIGING DOKTOR NGA TALAGA AKO!!! ;)

RELATIONSHIP-WISE:
1. I realized that I miss my family when I don't get to see them everyday. I learned to value the times we have together, and so these times have become so much more meaningful to me. I also realized that they miss me too. And that goes even for my extended family in Pagsanjan (who never fail to keep in touch).
2. I began to appreciate all the little things my parents and my sister do for me.
3. I re-established my solid friendships with some of the closest people to my heart.
4. I allowed friendships to grow. I allowed them into my heart. I learned that when it comes to people, I should EXPECT NOTHING AND APPRECIATE EVERYTHING.
5. I gained a deeper understanding of how and what it is to put others before myself.
6. I realized that I am capable of giving up something I want to do for myself for the sake another person's happiness.
7. I learned that relationships will work only if you work on it together. No matter what kind of relationship it is.
8. I learned that it is possible to disagree on something and yet still manage to be really good friends.
9. COVENANT FRIENDSHIP. No matter what.
10. Lopao. My homi. 'Nuff said. =.)

PERSONAL LIFE-WISE:
1. I rediscovered how good my life can really be if God is at the center. And how horrible it will be otherwise. With Him, I have everything I could ever want and more.
2. I realized that I can never do anything in my own strength. I would have probably given up a long time ago were it not for the grace of God that gives me strength, wisdom, and the ability to go on.
3. HIS STRENGTH IS PERFECT.
4. I learned that growing in the Word takes work on my part. A pleasurable and fruitful work, but work nonetheless. And that I cannot afford to be lax and careless. I cannot live on yesterday's manna.
5. I learned that my ministry extends beyond the four walls of my church. Even without a microphone, my life can still sing out God's melody in such a way that the people who hear will come to know Jesus Christ.
6. But I still will always come back to singing and music no matter what I do and where I go.
7. I discovered one thing I am good at: speaking in front of many people. And one thing I am not so good at: speaking out on a more personal, intimate level (I write better than I speak at times). But I am working on it!
8. I am blessed to be a blessing. Literally. I have more than enough. I LIVE TO GIVE.
9. I am beginning to realize that no matter how bad circumstances may look like now, or how lost I may be feeling at present, GOD STILL HAS A MARVELOUS PLAN FOR ME. And that is something I can look forward to. So I live one day at a time in the present, while that hope of a wonderful future keeps my heart strong, steady and trusting in the Lord.
10. I CAN DREAM BIG.

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Ayan, sa next entry na lng pala yung for 2008, pag-iisipan ko pa ng husto e. Tsaka ang haba na nito masyado.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

.half-done.

I have always known that I was never meant for mediocrity. I knew that I was meant to excel, to stand out and shine as light in a world that is filled with darkness. Even as a little kid, I knew that I would soon soar to great heights and change the world. "Making a difference" sounded like a simple enough task and an easily attainable dream.

When I was younger, dreaming was easy. I would just close my eyes and see myself doing all sorts of things that only the uninhibited and free mind of an innocent child can conjure up. I knew no limits, no boundaries, and I believed that I could go wherever I want to go and be whoever I want to be. I had no other direction to go but towards victory, higher up the stepladder of success.

But somewhere along the way, I got disillusioned. My head-on collision with failure after failure caused my dreams to shatter around me. I lost the courage to dream. I lost the faith to believe that I could actually amount to something. I allowed my circumstances to poison my mind and soon my vision of a good future began to shrivel up little by little.

It was a lot like dying, really. It was the worst to look in the mirror and see dejection in the eyes looking back at me. Outside, I haven't changed a bit, but I knew that a spark inside me had died.

But something keeps me going.

"Thank God, no matter what is happening around us, the Word of God remains the same. It is the unchangeable force that upholds us in every time of trouble. It is the solid rock, the foundation that, if we build our lives upon it, will bring us safely through every storm (Matthew 7:24-25).

The Word of God is far more real, far more permanent than anything in this natural world. It is, in fact, the very power by which this world and everything in it exists. The Bible tells us that Jesus upholds all things—that's right all things!—"by the word of his power" (Hebrews 1:3). "

Okay, I really have to go now, but I'm not done with this piece yet. I am going somewhere with this.

Literally. And figuratively.