.pagsanjan.

This is just a a documentation of sorts of my stay in my home away from home. So I'll probably just be rambling on and on but bear with me. It's my blog. Hehe.

I just got back from a three-day vacation in Pagsanjan. It was a luxury getting to stay there from Monday until yesterday (Wednesday). The three-week vacation from PGH didn't exactly turned out the way that I had envisioned it at the start - but I'm not complaining. In all that has happened, I know that I only have everything to gain.

Anyway, back to Pagsanjan. I was already there last weekend. I stayed overnight last Friday because I wanted to come to my cousin Koya Eric's despedida. He and his little daughter Erika were leaving for Canada and were to stay there indefinitely. His wife is already there, and so is their new little daughter, so for all we know, they could be settling down there permanently. So I went. It was great seeing my family there again. I had to leave the next day though, to take care of some things for school and to come to church, but I really had a hard time leaving. I left with a promise to return.

I came back last Monday. This time, we had an outing planned. Ate Emma wanted to treat her inaanak and my cousin Josh to something special for graduating Salutatorian from Prep, so she planned this overnight thing at Splash Mountain in Los Banos and brought us along. There were eight of us all in all, 4 adults and 4 kids. We all had a great time, but we all lost sleep because we had to keep up with the kids' energy, which kept them up and jostling in the water until about four in the morning. By then, we already had to fix our stuff because we had to leave the place by 6am. I am not complaining though. I had the best time playing with the kids, bonding with my titas, and swapping stories and becoming sentimental with one my favorite and closest cousins, Jeff.

I was already feeling a little "post-duty" in the bus as we were making our way back to Pagsanjan the following morning. However, our day wasn't over yet.

After a quick breakfast and quick "decision-making", we then trekked all the way to Lucban, Quezon to see the famed "Kamay Ni Hesus" Shrine. I am not Catholic, so I just wanted to come for "scenic viewing" purposes. Nanay wanted to come too, so it was her, Time, Ate Emma, and me. Nanay kept saying that she wanted to try to climb the 300+ steps that led up to this giant statue of Jesus Christ, and truth to be told, I was a bit concerned at first. At 79, Nanay, though healthier and stronger than most people her age (and looks younger too!), has been complaining a lot these days about her knees and her vertigo. She has also been found to have cardiomegaly and arrhythmia recently - though I know that she is already healed by the stripes of Jesus. Still, I keep telling her to rest. She stubbornly refuses most of the time though, because she always wants to be up and about, doing something around the house and making herself useful. She's so masipag, my Nanay. However, she gets tired more easily now than she used to, so I was quite hesistant about letting her climb up. I had my doubts, and I kept asking her if she were sure about the whole thing. But the determination and the desire in her voice was so evident that all I could do was just let her do what she wants and just be there for her. Time and I took turns assisting Nanay in climbing up the stairs while Ate Emma documented it all by taking pictures and counting the number of steps (301, according to her). We were encouraging Nanay all the way.

Upon reaching the top, Nanay was almost in tears as she looked up the statue and said, "Akala ko hindi ko na mararating ito." And at that point, I knew it was worth it. The pagod, the hassle of the hour-long journey in a cramped jeepney, the heat of the summer sun - it was all worth it to see Nanay smiling like that. Her voice got a bit emotional saying, "Pinagdadasal ko talaga sa Panginoon na bigyan ako ng lakas para gawin ito." She then boldly declared, "God is good all the time!" What to me was just another part of my sightseeing and vacationing was a big thing for Nanay - it was an accomplishment, a dream come true if you must. And I am so grateful to have been given the privilege to be a part of that. The pride in her voice as she told everyone about it when we came back home made me feel so proud of her too. That's when it hit me: My Nanay is a go-getter. She knows what she wants and she does what she can to make it happen. I love her so much. This was one of my favorite parts of my vacation.

It was a tiring day all in all and I spent the next few hours catching up on my sleep. There was still much on our "itinerary". Lopao was coming the next day and we were planning to bring him to Lagaslas so he could get a taste of the looooong river that led all the way to Pagsanjan Falls. I can still remember the rush I felt the next day when I saw him waiting at the bus terminal in Pagsanjan, and I had to tell myself over and over again that he was really there, just to make myself believe it. Seeing him with my family, getting along, laughing with them, sharing stories with them, gave me a joy and a peace that I just can't describe. Full circle. It was amazing. Bitin, but amazing.

Those three days went by too quickly. I remember, years ago, when I would spend the whole of the two months of summer vacation there. I grew up in the presence of Nanay, my titas and titos, my cousins, and everyone else there. Most of my happiest childhood memories are from my vacations in Pagsanjan. I have also witnessed many of our beloved babies there transform from infants to the bibbo kids that they are now.

We are not a perfect family - we have our issues, maybe even more so than your typical Filipino family. We've had more than our fair share of troubles and hang-ups. The drama that lies underneath the happy-go-lucky surface could give many a telenovela a run for their money - but the best thing is that we all go through them together. Family is family, no matter what. We stick together. We help each other. We are there for one another when we need each other. We work things out. And we all believe in the one true God Who has abundantly blessed us with all good things - and has blessed us by placing us in this family.

Pagsanjan is my happy place - and it always will be.

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This vacation, I have one other great accomplishment - bonding with my Ate again. During the school year, we hardly ever saw each other. The few times that I did spend at home, we were both either too busy or too tired to do much together. I missed her so much. I miss our talks, the silly things we laugh at that only the two us can understand, the late-night "drama-ramas", the galaan, and all those special things that you can only share with a sister.

Things may have changed a lot now, but one thing for sure - the bond that Ate and I share as sisters is something that NOTHING can ever destroy.

I love you Te. And I treasure these times that we get to spend together. More than you know, more than I can say, more than I can show.

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Dear, I am so excited about meeting your family in Jalajala tomorrow.

I love you dear. MOA.

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Countdown to internship: 7 days. Bring it on!