.moving forward.

Taken from Ate Honey's blog:

It's always important to know when something has reached its end. Closing circles, shutting doors, finishing chapters, it doesn't matter what we call it; what matters is to leave in the past those moments in life that are over. Slowly, begin to realize that we could not go back and force things to be as they once were.

That is why it is so important to let certain things go. To release them. To cut loose. People need to understand that no one is playing with marked cards; sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Don't expect to get anything back, don't expect recognition for your efforts, don't expect for your genius to be discovered or your love to be understood. Complete the circle. Not out of pride, inability, or arrogance, but simply because whatever it is no longer fits in your life.

Close the door. Change the record. Clean the house. Shake it off and get rid of the dust. Stop being who you were and become who you are. - P.C.

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There was a lump in my throat as I was reading this entry from Ate Honey's blog which echoed exactly the thoughts that I have been trying to shut out for several months now.

Because I have just come to realize that I will never be truly happy about where I am now if I never learn to accept that the past is already past, and that the best thing to do is look up and move forward.

"...Slowly, begin to realize that we could not go back and force things to be as they once were..."

For so long, I have been trying to take pieces of the past and struggling to string them together to give my life some sense of normalcy. I keep looking back to the "golden years" of my life, thinking how much better it all used to be. I couldn't accept all the many changes that are constantly thrown in my face. I wanted everything to go back to the way they were. I wanted to run back to the comforts of knowing where I stand, of being beside the people whose shadows I have always hidden under. While everyone else around me was finding out who he/she truly is and discovering more and more of himself, I keep myself tied to what used to be, afraid of never finding my way back in, afraid of moving on into turfs unknown.

I have always thought that who I was is so much better than who I am.

Stronghold.

"Complete the circle. Not out of pride, inability, or arrogance, but simply because whatever it is no longer fits in your life..."

Now is the time to rise up, square my shoulders, and walk forward. I'll always remember the past - with a smile on my face, and maybe even on occasion let my tears flow freely for it - but I'll no longer waste more than moment in wishing for things that can never be again.

Closing a chapter in my life only means I am now faced with a fresh page to write new stories on.

All new. All fresh. All better.