.first 2009 post.

A good friend called attention to the fact that I haven't posted an entry for the new year yet. So here I am, half-asleep with eyes half-closed, attempting to come up with something halfway sensible. As yet, I have no idea what I'm going to write so I'm just going to ramble on and on. ;)

The beginning of the year most definitely made a mark on at least 150++ people on the planet. For five years (or seven for several of us), we have been known as UPCM Class 2009. Now it's finally here. The last few months. The homestretch. The end.

I can't tell you how good it makes me feel to actually have the end in sight. For so long it has been a struggle, a battle in the mind, on my part. To finally be graduating from the institution I've called home for seven years brings me, for lack of a better way to describe it, great relief. I cannot thank God enough. It's all by His grace that I am able to reach this point. However, with the clock ticking so loudly on my days in the College, the reality of facing the real world soon enough is also beginning to dawn on me.

I have no idea what I want to do afterwards.

Well, maybe I do. In the vaguest sense. But I still can't give a concrete answer when people ask me about it. For some reason, I just can't bring myself to be all enthusiastic about it for now. Not now when I am still trying to discover within myself what I want to do. Because somehow, I have this feeling that whatever decision I make in the next few months will be on the most major life choices I will ever have to make. Whatever I choose to do will change my life forever. And that's something I do not want to rush into.

Sometimes, I want to be just like everyone else. I want to start planning, to start looking into opportunities, and to start asking around about it. I want to be all set. But I am not. Not yet, anyway.

Something great lies ahead. I just know it.

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Sorry. I didn't want to dedicate an entire entry to med school, so I ended it quite abruptly. That was not how I wanted to start the year. After all, I've always looked as med school as merely something to go through. A training ground of sorts to prepare me in particular ways for the role that I am supposed to play in the Grander Scheme of things. I have never allowed it to define me, nor have I let it seep through my entire being so that it becomes the only thing that keeps me going.

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This Year 2009, I will...

...ENJOY MY LIFE! An unhappy life is not a life worth living. I choose to be happy no matter what.

...Take bolder, surer, and more confident steps toward the future.

...Not allow people or circumstances to dictate who I am and what I can or cannot do.

...Clear my mind of things that keep me up all night.

...Pick my dreams up from where I left them, dust them off, and begin to bring them to life once again.

...Put first things first.

...Make choices that matter.

...Strengthen my self-esteem.

...No longer blame myself for every single thing that seem to go wrong.

...Re-establish and revitalize relationships and create new ones.

...Appreciate people and focus on their strengths, rather than on their misgivings.

...Be generous with GRACE, not just with others, but even with myself.

...Put others first.

...LOVE MORE.

...UNDERSTAND MORE.

...GIVE, GIVE and GIVE.

...Learn what it truly means to submit.

...Not be easily offended.

...Not compare myself with others.

...Appreciate who I am and who I was made to be.

...Allow me to be me.

...LOVE PEOPLE TO JESUS.

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Let's just hope everything goes according to plan.

Happy New Year to us all!

I love you Dear.