.isang nobela para kay Ate.

Sometimes, I wish we didn't have to grow old. That things could stay just the way they always have been. Growing old, or growing up for that matter, would always entail change.

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Growing up, my big sister was my idol. My mom used to dress us in these cute,little outfits that made us look like baby dolls, making sure that we were wearing identical clothes so that we wouldn't get jealous of each other. At the time, Ate towered over me by a good five inches at least, making me look like a squirt next to her. But I never minded. I was dressed like her and that was enough to tell me I looked good.

I grew up in her shadow, always being compared to her, but it never gave birth to any bitterness or jealousy in me. I always believed it was an honor. She was an achiever who excelled at everything she did. Being Eden's little sister was a gift from heaven... everybody immediately recognized me and I basked in the attention. I was proud of my Ate and was thankful that they associated me with someone as great as her.

I followed her around, thinking the world of her. I listened closely to whatever new expression she had picked up and repeated them the next day to my classmates. She had these crazy ideas about what to do during weekends, and I went along with every one of them. We played school, and she was always the teacher. We recorded our own voices and created our own plays and scripts, and she always took the role of the evil sister, or the bad mother, and I was always the pathetic little girl that everyone pushed around. I would always back her up as she sang as the lead vocalist. But I never minded. I would have jumped off a cliff with her if she had told me we could fly.

She was my protector. She stood up to kids who bullied me in school and would fight anyone who would dare hurt me. She would always be there in a flash whenever I needed her, never mind that she had classes of her own to attend to. Somehow, I always felt safer when I knew my Ate was somewhere nearby, within reach, just one call away. My teachers knew well enough to call her when I would get into some sort of trouble, or when I would get so upset and end up in a crying fit (which was often, by the way.. world's biggest crybaby here!).

It was Ate who fostered my love for reading. She started reading Sweet Valley Kids and Twins in elementary, and eventually, I followed suit. She wanted to make sure we owned a copy of every single book in the series... and soon, we pretty much did. Of course, we both outgrew Jessica and Elizabeth over time and moved on to other works of literature, but the bookworm that she had managed to bring out in me stayed, and up to now, nothing still beats curling up with a good book during my lazy days. It is to this love of reading that I attribute the fact that I can use English pretty well and have fun playing with words... I thank Ate for instilling that in me.

Soon, we grew tired of playing games and became what most parents dread... teenagers. But we never really gave our parents that much to worry about. We were good kids, pretty much. Ate was my best confidante. Unlike her, opening up about my life didn't come naturally. I envied the way she talked to our mom about anything (even boys!), but I just couldn't seem to do it as easily as she did. I pretty much kept personal things to myself. I would be falling hopelessy infatuated with someone or maybe even be heartbroken, and no one would be the wiser. I kept up a pretty good charade. However, her constant prodding and friendly questioning about my life soon broke through my wall and helped me to open up my world to her. I let her in, and she gladly entered. She offered wonderful words of wisdom, and would always laugh, cry, be angry, jealous or whatever I would be feeling, with me as she would see fit.

Of course, who can forget the times when I would wake up in the middle of the night and hear quiet sobs coming from beside me? Back when we shared a room, I witnessed much of Ate's heartbreaks and frustrations as I overheard (without meaning to) many phone conversations that ended in tears. Finding myself at loss for words, I would offer her nothing more than my arms for a hug, and she would gladly fall into my embrace, sobbing on my shoulders as I tried to comfort her as much as I could. I remember wanting to lash out at that person who had dared hurt my sister that much. Seeing her in tears usually broke me down a lot of times too, and soon, we'd both be crying. Then we'd laugh at how silly we both were, and then eventually fall back to sleep. I may be younger, but never have I felt more protective of anybody else than I have during these times of my sister.

As we both grew older, our paths somehow drifted apart. She began finding work in far and different places, and I started taking my med school more seriously. Our moments together became less and less. We each lived our own lives. And yet, through all these, I never doubted for a minute that my Ate's just around. I always want her to be among the first to share my joy, and I am honored when she does the same for me.

There is a bond between sisters that nothing can break. Ate and I have known each other our whole lives. We understand each other in ways that no one else can. We swap stories, share inside jokes with our equally twisted sense of humor (we make each other laugh... and no one else gets it), fight then make up, trade clothes and shoes,and get into each other's hair (and nerves!). We tell each other theories we make up in our minds about life in general, and attempt to psychoanalyze people and their actions. We share so many interests in common, and yet we are different enough so that our lives never get boring.

We dream dreams together, and having her there to agree with me and have faith with me increases my certainty that they will all come to pass.

After all these being said, I know without a shadow of a doubt that all these memories, no matter how beautiful and how fondly we look back on them, cannot even begin to compare to the more glorious future that lies ahead.

No matter what happens, and no matter how fast the winds of time bring their gusts of change to our lives, I know my Ate and I will never fail to be what we have always been from the very beginning... SISTERS.

Nothing in the world can beat that.

And right now, I could not be happier. :)

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Here's to you Ate. I love you.